One morning during prayer time, the Holy Spirit led me to God’s word in Jeremiah 1:5.
“EVEN BEFORE I formed you in the womb I have known you;
EVEN BEFORE you were born I have set you apart and appointed you a prophet to the nations”.
This hit me hard. God my creator knew me even before He formed me in my mother’s womb! He set me apart for His work! It got me thinking that such a direct message implies a MISSION for me. Like Jeremiah I got a bit nervous about being a ‘prophet’ but I decided I could be a witness to God’s love. So I share my experience of God’s love in and through Jesus.
I have been living with the knowledge that Jesus died to save the whole world. I have had the most common and foolish illusion that I have no sins. Or that I’m no sinner. I thought I lived a decent Christian life, attending Mass, praying at the right time, doing some good works etc. On Tuesdays and Fridays during Rosary, I would reflect on the sufferings of Jesus in each of the five sorrowful Mysteries. Emotional pain and the excruciating physical pain that Jesus underwent starting with the scourging until the final nail hammered into His feet. Foolishly I attributed it all to the sins of the whole world. I was callous. I absolved myself with the thoughts that my sins were the cause of the pain. Maybe, of one of the thorns piercing Jesus’ Head or one whip lash on His Back.
In His Love, Jesus cleared these illusions of mine. Thanks to an online retreat on “Forgiveness” I came to know that the Passion and Death of Jesus was “My Personal Forgiveness Story” – Jesus bore it all for ME!
My perspective changed. It brought me to re-view my sins from childhood till date. I had labeled my sins as “faults” and “failings” whereas I found I had broken the Ten Commandments – in thought, word and deed. Now as I looked closely at every single act of cruelty Jesus bore – 40 lashes, abuses, spitting on His Face, the pain of every single thorn piercing His Head, the weight of the cross causing Him to fall 3 tines and every blow of the hammer nailing Jesus to the Cross – HAD MY NAME ON IT!! Jesus bore it all without a murmur forgiving ME every single moment. I realized how much I had offended God’s infinite goodness in the midst of countless blessing showered on me all those years.
I believe I am forgiven. There is a great joy and Peace in being loved and forgiven by Jesus. During a visit to a clergy home in November I was given the grace to make a sincere Confession that was so freeing! Also I received the Body and Blood of Jesus, after 8 months!
I wish this joy & Peace of Jesus for you and your family as we celebrate the Birth of Jesus. He came in obedience to His Father and “pitched His tent amongst us” to save us from sin & death, and open the Gates of Heaven for us. May this Christmas be an experience of God’s Love for you.
Rodrigues